You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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