I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
