OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
now i know why i became what i already was.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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