went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am one with the molecules
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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