hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
