I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
