I need help removing her.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
