I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You took a bar mat shot.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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