I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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