Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
