I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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