Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
