Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize