And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Randomize
