she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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