That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
