I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
