My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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