Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
