dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
