i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
