Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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