so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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