All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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