i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
