Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize