Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
