My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
