There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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