I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
