So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
