I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
