I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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