Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
