My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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