I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
