Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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