Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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