She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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