she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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