you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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