I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
