how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
