So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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