Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
