We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
