the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
