the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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