We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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