butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He did a backflip because drugs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
