With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
