I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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