Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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