And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
