Porn is love you can see.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize