GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
