We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
